I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I had to cum in my sink.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
