The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
