I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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