problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
