Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.