If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.