quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
