did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.