just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"