You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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