why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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