I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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