Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
then he tried to convert me to islam
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
