would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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