He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
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i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
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The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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