he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
