in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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