why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
