I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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