At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
