Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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