I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
