do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
