Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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