Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
