you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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