sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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