can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
No subtext here. People are naked.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
