love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
