Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
