I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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