brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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