speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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