Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
