Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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