Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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