If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
