I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
