hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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