Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
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I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
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And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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