Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks