Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.