It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
