Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
