I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
