i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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