i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
