MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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