I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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