She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
