do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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