I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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