Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
