i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
