You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she smelled like a LAN party
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
