i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
please don't ironically join a cult
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