Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
