Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
