This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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