My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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