No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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