There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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