why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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