Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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