Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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