But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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