hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize