i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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