Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
