Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
